You think that losing it would make me feel better. I wouldn't feel so cooped up in it all. But I do. The 2 songs that I've been listening to lately are {It Gets Better-Todrick Hall} & {Someday-Rob Thomas} They remnd me to keep my head up. I know that the ones I trust don't judge me for my scars, my open wounds, and everything that I've put them through. I would love to start everything over. I would love to apologize to everyone. To apologize for the tears I've shed, for the wounds I've created, for.. everything. Would everything be better if I just fell asleep and didn't wake up? Somedays I think that maybe that's what I need to do. But then I think about Alexis, Abby, Ben, Chris, Sam, Amber, Bailey, and Amy. If I left them, they would lose something; something that they say means so much to them. I just want to let them know that I love them. With all my heart. I can't ever think about hurting them that much.
~They say that they wish that they could take away all my pain. That they would jsut grab it and take it from me, like the razors. But they can't. And even if they could, I wouldn't want anyone to feel this. Not even the people that I hate. If someone was feeling this then I would apologize for everything. These feelings hurt so badly and maybe that's what life is all about right? I wish that I could take everyone's pain. I would bottle it up, and take the pain for them. I would. I wouldn't care if it killed me, because then they wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore.
~Therefore everything in life is complicated. And for those who are reading this, then I want them to know that I thank you. For reading everything and sticking by me. And I want you to know that.... I love you. <3 I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.
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